First Times And Tragic Endings
by TaintedRainbows
Summary: The first time Ciel was kissed, it was by his butler. When things between them had changed, he did not know. But they had, and Sebastian wasn't just a servant anymore.


The first time Ciel was kissed, it was by his butler. It was strange, gentle and somehow rough all at once. With Sebastian leaning over him, far too close for him to not be slightly afraid, the teenager realized that this was someone he loved. That Sebastian wasn't just a servant anymore.

When things had changed, Ciel did not know. But they had, and there was no going back to how they used to be. It was different now. He found himself with his butler on his mind far too often; casting thoughtful glances when he knew he wouldn't be caught. What was the reason for this odd attraction to such a dangerous creature? With the demon's soft lips against his own, Ciel Phantomhive thought about what kept them together: the contract that had to be completed.

He didn't expect Sebastian to spare his soul. He wasn't that delusional. It didn't matter how much he tried to make Sebastian care for him, or how much Sebastian might _actually _care for him, because nothing could overcome his desire for the child's soul. And the undeniable fact was that this person he so loved would no doubt be his end.

Despite the utter hopelessness of the entire situation, Ciel pulled his demon closer with a small noise of pleasure, secretly desperate for more of the addicting feelings that he needed to distract himself from everything that was wrong.

* * *

The first time Ciel had sex, it was with his butler. It wasn't what he expected, but it was amazing all the same. Sebastian pressed unbearably close to him, breathing fast and muttering meaningless words of encouragement into his ear. He thought it a bit scary, how fast he had grown to be an adult and how much he still loved his butler. Obviously the emotion was strong enough for Ciel to give up his entire life and his innocence to the demon, who greedily took what he was given, though not without silently questioning his master's motives.

Everything was too warm and intense and he couldn't keep quiet, little whines quickly becoming loud moans that Sebastian seemed to enjoy, though he somewhat distractedly reminded Ciel that no one could know of this side of their relationship and that the servants were sure to hear him if he didn't lower his voice.

Moving in Sebastian's lap, Ciel nodded briefly in agreement, eyes closed. He bit his lip, tilting his head back as he gasped for breath. Sebastian was right, of course. But his mind was foggy, pleasure and pain and such lucid emotion mixing together and making the warning seem very distant and unimportant.

Surely the three heard his eventual breathy shout of Sebastian's name as his hands tightened on the man's shoulders and his entire body trembled in his ecstasy, but in that moment he couldn't bring himself to care.

It was torturous to return to their everyday activities the next morning. Focusing on his work was nearly impossible, and when he attempted to read his latest novel, his thoughts uncontrollably wandered.

* * *

Sebastian had fallen in love before. It wasn't some new concept; he actually had a bad habit of becoming attached to the humans he formed contracts with. There had been children before, as well as prostitutes and older widows and lonesome men. There were no lines drawn in the mind of a demon who had lived for such a long time. Age and gender meant nothing when he was only feeling a cheap imitation of the emotion called love.

Ciel wasn't the first. He was the 24th. There had been many others in his place. Even so, Sebastian was mildly surprised at how the child with the pale skin and mismatched eyes made him feel. It was more… intense, and accurate than those before him.

Kissing his master was a bold move given the situation but it wasn't anything _special _just because of that. His actions were only a small part of what made the moment unique. He couldn't help but wonder what Ciel was thinking then, what he was feeling. That made it different; made it special.

Though questioning by nature, Sebastian recognized this as odd. He had thought those questions before, with a few others. It had always been mild curiosity though, never something so sincere. It felt wrong to think of anyone else's emotions in that way. Demons were naturally selfish, and he had never been an exception to that.

Leaning over Ciel's small frame, the demon made a bit of a resolution. There was no way he'd let this boy get away, the boy with such a perfect soul. He would have what he'd initially desired, regardless of his own emotions.

As Ciel pulled him closer with a soft little moan, Sebastian knew his Young Master was in love with him. How idiotic they both were.

* * *

The taking of his master's virginity was a wonderful night. Upon turning eighteen years old, Ciel tentatively made more advances in a thinly-veiled attempt to have Sebastian emotionally closer, some not so subtle. He really was the one who initiated the sex, if one wanted somebody to blame.

Blaming anyone wasn't at all necessary.

It was a bit clumsy of Ciel's part. Sebastian was aware of his inexperience and knew he would have to be patient and encouraging in order to get what he wanted. It really was rather adorable to see the adult fumbling with buttons because of his nervously trembling hands.

It was a night to be remembered for the demon, because it was quite different from the people who had come before Ciel, even the few children who behaved similarly. No one else made his eyes darken with lust in this particular way.

Taking in the warm blush on his cheeks, the shaky moans and harsh breathing, _everything_ about him, Sebastian found himself slightly concerned for the younger man. So he went slowly, making an effort to lessen the inevitable pain.

But only until he knew Ciel wasn't hurting too badly.

There was no clear indication of pain. Lowering himself onto his butler, he had bit his lip, closing his eyes tightly for a long moment. As soon as he opened his eyes Sebastian's hands on his thin hips were already lifting him, guiding his actions though he wasn't completely ready for the roughness that followed.

He had to remind Ciel to keep himself quiet, lest the other servants hear them. No one could know; it had to be kept a carefully guarded secret, always.

* * *

Okay! I wrote another 3 AM oneshot. I swear I have no idea why I always go for SebastianXCiel when I do these. I also apparently have a thing for alternating points of view. I didn't know what this was going to be when I started it(it kept me up until nearly 5 in the morning!), but now it has been a few days since I wrote it, so I reread, added things, cut things out, rewrote. And now it is… better. I think Sebastian's part could be improved, but I'm still having trouble writing for him. It's so intimidating!

Maybe it's just my imagination. Anyways, review? I'd like to know what I could improve on.


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